Finding My Way Back
Hey friends,
It’s been a little while since I’ve truly shown up here, and I felt it was important to sit down and share why. Life has brought some really heavy moments lately, and I’ve needed time to step back, gather my thoughts, and allow myself to process.
A Season of Loss
Over the past couple of weeks, my family and I experienced a heartbreaking loss. A very close family friend—though to us, he was simply family—passed away suddenly in a tragic car accident. The news shook us in ways that words can hardly capture.
Grief is never easy, but when it comes so suddenly and with so many unanswered questions, it feels even harder to hold. There are moments when we still catch ourselves trying to understand the “how” and the “why,” knowing that answers may never come. It’s an ache that sits heavy in the chest, one that doesn’t just fade away after a day or two.
We’ve all been moving through it in our own ways, but the weight of it has been immense. And on top of that, there have been other family matters pressing on our hearts. Together, it has felt like a storm we didn’t see coming—a season of loss, of challenges, and of learning how to put one foot in front of the other even when it feels impossible.
The Nature of Grief
One thing I’ve been reminded of during this time is that grief isn’t straightforward. It’s not something you “get over” in a set number of days. It comes in waves. Some days you can breathe a little easier, and on others it feels like the tide is too strong.
And that’s okay.
I think too often we expect ourselves to be strong all the time. But sometimes strength looks like allowing yourself to feel it all. To cry, to sit in the quiet, to hold onto the memories, and to admit that you don’t have all the answers.
For me, I’ve found comfort in small reminders—little signs that love and hope are still around us. Sometimes it’s in a kind word from someone. Sometimes it’s in the stillness of the morning. Sometimes it’s in the simple act of creating something with my hands.
Gratitude for You
In the middle of all of this, I cannot tell you how much your love and support have meant. To everyone who has reached out with a message, a prayer, or just a kind word—thank you. Truly.
It might seem small, but when your heart feels so heavy, those little acts of kindness are like lifelines. They remind you that even though the world feels dark, there are still lights shining. And you’ve been that light for me and my family.
It’s easy to feel alone in grief, but this community has reminded me that we’re not walking these roads by ourselves. And for that, I am endlessly grateful.
Please, continue to wrap his wife and family in your thoughts and prayers, as the whole process has not been easy and continue to face many struggles.
A Special Friend
As we’ve been navigating our own grief and family struggles, another close friend of mine is preparing for their own battle. This coming Monday, September 15th, they’ll be going in for surgery.
My heart has been with them constantly as they face this with courage and faith. It’s never easy to step into the unknown of surgery, but I believe so deeply in their strength and in the healing that will follow. If you’re reading this, I’d love for you to keep them in your thoughts and prayers as they go into this next chapter.
It’s moments like these—loss, grief, surgery, uncertainty—that remind us how important it is to hold one another close. Life is fragile, but it’s also powerful when we lean on each other and lift one another up.
The Bluebird Shawl
Many of you know I’ve been working on the Bluebird Shawl, and I had originally hoped to have it out sooner. It’s running late, but it will finally be uploaded today.
This shawl holds so much meaning for me. It was originally inspired by one of my favorite songs, “Bluebird” by Miranda Lambert. There’s something about the lyrics—about holding onto light, about keeping a little bluebird in your heart no matter how dark things get—that struck me deeply. One line in particular has always stayed with me:
“And if the house just keeps on winning, I got a wildcard up my sleeve… and if love keeps giving me lemons, I’ll just mix ’em in my drink.”
That line reminds me that no matter what comes—loss, hardship, or uncertainty—we still have the power to choose hope, joy, and resilience. From the very beginning, I wanted to capture that same feeling in a design.
Over the past couple of weeks, the Bluebird Shawl has taken on an even deeper significance. As I worked on it, I would put the song on repeat, letting the melody and lyrics guide my hands and calm my heart. Every stitch felt like a small prayer, a gentle reminder that even in dark times, light is possible. There were moments when grief felt overwhelming, and yet each row of the shawl was a quiet act of hope—a reminder that joy and beauty can still return.
It’s almost as if the shawl and the song were meant to meet me in this season of my life. And now, more than ever, it feels like a symbol of carrying hope through sorrow. I hope that when you make the Bluebird Shawl, or wear it, or even just look at it, you feel that same comfort and reassurance. That in the middle of life’s storms, there is always a little bluebird waiting to lift your heart.
This project has reminded me that creativity can be healing, that music and craft together can soothe the spirit, and that symbols of hope—like bluebirds—can show up in the smallest, most beautiful ways.
Finding My Way Back
I won’t pretend that I have everything figured out. I’m still navigating grief and the weight of family matters. I’m also keeping my heart close to my friend as they go through surgery and recovery. But I’m also starting to take small steps back into my routine—back into recording, back onto social media, back into creativity.
And you know what? It feels good. Creating has always been more than a hobby for me—it’s been a way to heal, to process, to express what words can’t always capture. And right now, I’m leaning into that more than ever.
I know it may take time to fully find my rhythm again, but I’m grateful for the grace you’ve given me. Thank you for waiting patiently. Thank you for encouraging me to take the time I needed. And thank you for welcoming me back with open arms.
A Note for You
As the Bluebird Shawl goes live today, I’d love for you to see it as more than just a new release. I hope it reminds you—just like it’s reminded me—that hope is still out there, even when life feels unbearably heavy.
I’d also love to hear from you. What does the bluebird mean to you? Does it remind you of someone you’ve loved and lost? Does it symbolize joy, or the promise of brighter days, or maybe even your own story of renewal?
Please share your thoughts with me in the comments or on social media. I’d love for this shawl to become not just a pattern, but a shared symbol of hope and healing for all of us.
Find Tutorial Here: Bluebird Shawl Tutorial
With love, gratitude, and hope,
Cyd 💛
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