A deep, soul-level reflection on growth, intuition, rest, and rediscovering the pieces of myself that I buried for too long.
Fall has always felt like a gentle reset — a season that wraps the world in warm colors and quiet reminders that change is not only natural, but necessary. This year, I had the honor of teaming up with Shannon from Shannon Talks Yarn to share what Fall means to each of us. As we talked, something inside me shifted — something honest, raw, and long overdue.
Because the truth is, Fall has always been a mirror to my soul. The leaves don’t apologize for letting go, and neither should I. Nature sheds so it can grow again — and this season, I’m learning that I have to do the same.
This blog might feel different than my usual ones, but maybe that’s the point. Growth rarely looks the same each time. Healing doesn’t follow a pattern. And this season, my heart needed honesty more than anything else.
The Art of Letting Go
I used to think letting go was a weakness. That if I held on tightly enough — to people, memories, or unhealthy expectations — I could fix everything. But life has a gentle way of teaching the same lesson over and over until you finally understand it:
Holding on to what hurts does not keep us safe. It keeps us stuck.
This Fall, I realized how deeply connected we are to the world around us. The trees don’t cling. They release. They trust the process. They trust that what falls away is making room for something new to grow.
I am learning to do the same. Slowly. Tenderly. Even when it hurts.
Slowing Down: The Lesson I Avoided for Years
Pregnancy has taught me things I didn’t know how to learn on my own — especially the lesson of slowing down. I’ve always believed productivity defined my worth. That being busy made me valuable. That rest was a luxury reserved for someone else.
But my body said otherwise. My heart said otherwise. My spirit said otherwise.
Not every day is meant to be filled with tasks. Not every moment needs to be useful. Some days, my greatest act of discipline is choosing rest over guilt. Choosing peace over pressure. Choosing to listen to my body instead of fighting it.
Slowing down doesn’t mean I’m falling behind. It means I’m finally catching up with myself.
Trusting My Intuition Again
For a long time, I ignored my instincts — especially in relationships. I gave people the benefit of the doubt when they didn’t deserve a second thought. I trusted words instead of patterns. I kept the wrong people close because walking away felt too heavy.
But ignoring your intuition is a betrayal of self.
This season has been a reminder that:
- If something feels off, it usually is.
- If someone drains your spirit, you’re allowed to step away.
- Not everyone deserves access to you — even if they’re family.
- Some people love the version of you that doesn’t know your worth.
I spent years letting someone chip away at who I was. My appearance. My intelligence. My personality. Even comments about how I would be as a mother. I looked in the mirror and saw someone who wasn’t enough — because I let someone else’s insecurities paint that picture for me.
But now, I see myself more clearly than ever.
I know what I deserve. I know what I won’t tolerate. And I know that walking away is not cruelty — it’s self-respect.
Falling Back in Love With Myself
What I didn’t expect this Fall was how much I would rediscover the pieces of me I thought were lost forever. I am learning that healing isn’t just about letting go — it’s about returning to yourself.
And I am falling back in love with myself in ways I never imagined:
- Doing my hair, makeup, and dressing up again — not for attention or validation, but because it makes me feel confident, beautiful, and whole.
- Baking again — the cozy warmth and joy of creating something made with intention and love.
- Being my goofy, playful self — the version of me that laughs, dances, and doesn’t shrink to make others comfortable.
- Exploring my deeper, spiritual side — astrology, energy, intuition, and understanding who I am on a soul level.
- Spending time in nature — grounding myself, breathing fresh air, and reconnecting with something bigger than my worries.
- Trying new things and staying open-minded — embracing new hobbies, new perspectives, and new possibilities.
For the first time in a long time, I feel like I’m coming home to myself.
Becoming the Woman I Needed
Every season changes us, but Fall has a special way of reshaping the soul. It has taught me to soften and to strengthen at the same time.
I am becoming the woman I once needed — the woman who:
- sets boundaries
- trusts her intuition
- rests without guilt
- values her peace
- knows her worth
- loves herself fully, even the messy parts
I’m not perfect, and I don’t want to be. I just want to be real, present, authentic… me.
A Message From My Heart to Yours
If you are reading this, I want you to hear something:
You don’t have to hold on to people, habits, or versions of yourself that no longer feel like home. You are allowed to outgrow what hurts. You are allowed to rediscover what brings you joy. You are allowed to rest. You are allowed to choose yourself — again and again.
Let the leaves fall. Let the season change you. Let yourself become someone softer, wiser, and freer.
And most importantly — fall back in love with yourself. You deserve that more than anything.
Amazing post Cydney!
ReplyDelete